‘Does Doing Good Feel Bad?’
Growth is a fascinating and ever-continuing journey. Just when we think we’ve made some progress, and are ready for the well deserved payoff for our efforts, another unexpected curve appears in the road. At these times, an appreciation of irony and the ability to laugh at our unique human
experience are the best tools to help us navigate through our latest under-construction zone. A great example is what happens when we try to do good for ourselves and the others in our lives.
We’ve worked really hard to become more aware of how we resist and reject success by tossing an endless variety of roadblocks in our own way. With great effort, we develop other options — different and more effective
self-talk, beliefs, responses and actions that will reduce the quantity and difficulty of the obstacles. We get to the point where we’re sometimes able to catch ourselves before or right at the moment where we could stray from our newly discovered better way — and we achieve the glorious victory of making a more appropriate choice. We say ‘yes’ to what will
move us forward, ‘no’ to what’s keeping us stuck, or use our time and energy more wisely.
It’s at this point that we expect to finally experience some pride, satisfaction and happiness. Ironically, its precisely at this point that the
opposite feelings pop up. Doing good feels bad! We’re impatient and remind ourselves of all the time we’re wasting by taking a different track. We’re surprised when our distaste for cleaning up our clutter or keeping up with the checkbook hasn’t magically morphed into pleasure and delight. That profound and dramatic shift in the way we think about ourselves and our life does not suddenly land upon our shoulders like a royal satin cloak. Truth be told, doing what’s right seems to feel WORSE!
Changing our behavior doesn’t automatically alter our responses. The tempting seduction of giving in to the quick-fix, short term solutions that offer immediate gratification and the illusion of relief
from feeling ‘icky’ will always be a factor. Feeling good — or at least better — will come with time and cumulative effort. Our responses
will begin to change when we have evidence that our new choices are creating different results. And, just like physical fitness activities, while
we may never truly enjoy taking the actions that are best for us, we’ll certainly LOVE the results. The key is to acknowledge and own the ‘inappropriate’ feelings while continuing on with what we know we
need to do.
What ‘right actions’ are you trying to include in your life? What negative or unexpected feelings are coming up? What needs to happen for you to
continue on your path in spite of these feelings?
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But goodness alone is never enough. A hard cold wisdom
is required, too, for goodness to accomplish good.
Goodness without wisdom invariably accomplishes evil.
~ Robert Heinlein
Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
~ Henry David Thoreau
To talk goodness is not good. Only to do it is.
~ Chinese Proverb
It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
When we are happy we are always good, but when we are
good we are not always happy.
~ Oscar Wilde
It isn’t hard to be good from time to time. What’s tough is being good every day.
~ Willie Mays
Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
~ Erica Jong
Do what’s good for you, or you’re not good for anybody.
~ Billy Joel
